Ailments of the Rotting Donkey

1. Or Brother Mule, if you prefer the nomenclature of those that misquote Mr. F from Assisi.
2. I’ve eaten half a bag of snow peas, and I expect to see the dividends later.
3. I’ve gotten used to getting old enough to find the benefit of that sort of daily review.
4. After all, I’m a growing boy. Growing hair where there wasn’t as much, that is.
5. On the back of my hands, in particular.
6. Though I’ve been masturbating less, all told, not counting the last half-week.
7. And perhaps my lower back aches in the morning because of the hairs growing there.
8. Though as for that the added hair is really hard to gauge, given how rarely I look it over.
9. I’ll be doing more of that though, with the yoga regimen I’ve half-way set for myself, when I put it in place.
10. Perhaps my back aches because of the things I’ve been doing instead of #6…
11. Certainly that’s why my shoulders and nipples are a bit tender.
12. What’s particularly odd is that my waist is definitely as wide or wider than when I retired my favorite cargo pants a few years back…
13. But they fit perfectly well.
14. And yet my favorite striped autumn button down shirt does not.
15. My belt has gone down a notch since last spring, but that’s not saying much.
16. My percentage of breakfasts that consist of more than just coffee has gone down too, but I have high hopes of a turn around.
17. I’ve passed the age when an extra cup of joe compensated for protein or roughage.
18. The clarity that comes from a banana and cream of wheat and an egg is hard to describe.
19. I won’t catalog the wrinkles and furrows here. But they’re there, listed or no.
20. I will say all my teeth are liking the cold much less.
21. And of course, that’s just when I’m rediscovering my love of ice water.
22. My belly and arms droop, but one of those can be fixed in a couple of weeks.
23. And the other, a couple of months of bananas and eggs and spinach and the exercise bike.