Things I definitely won’t do this weekend

20 11 2015
  1. Re-pot the philodendrons that have grown so thoroughly back after surviving the pre-divorce tumult.
  2. Shellac and otherwise decorate the bamboo staves for the skybox project.
  3. Take photos of myself in the various costumes from Matthew Briar’s Resurrection Apocalypse.
  4. Get the boxes of CDs out of storage and start sorting them.
  5. Go through all my old boxes of papers and notebooks and all.
  6. Dispense advice and sorcery on the street.
  7. Produce my own personal Tarot.
  8. Deal with the sugar skulls.
  9. Hang the pot hanger.
  10. Build the milk carton bed frame.
  11. As much laundry as I could.
  12. Drive people around the city for money.
  13. Run the Inverted Library.
  14. Babysit.
  15. Sketch people at an orgy.
  16. Swim.
  17. Decorate my bicycle as a dragon.
  18. Work on the stained glass stars.
  19. Hang new paintings.
  20. Create the headologist signs.
  21. Be satisfied.
  22. Be slothful.
  23. Be solitary.

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Ceci n’est pas une menace

25 06 2012

1. When you wave your middle finger in my face like that, I think about the sharpies in my car.

2. If you don’t answer the phone, we won’t send the note.

3. If you choose to direct the thieves to my doorstep, I will become your enemy.

4. Answering that question will take us on a long tangent away from the topic.

5. I need to talk with you before class or at break but it must be before class.

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Operationalized Inertia

25 05 2012

1. Process keeps on sending prompts to schedule a second plenary.

2. Headway volunteered to disseminate the minutes; one week and one day later the deed remains undone.

3. Restraint offered to probe the enigma of jointed duality.

4. Gravity missed the gathering, not being enrolled in the common course.  She hoped to reconnect before her departure to the city of the previous convention.

5. Process juggled expectations from Utopia, the Scrivener, and Vagary, each with differing standards for punctuality and consequence.

6. Benediction mapped out her own sequence of meetings and motions, while Utopia, the Scrivener, politely jockeyed for position and primacy.

7. Oodle wanted little to do with any enterprise that privileged works over feasts, and said as much to Process.

8. Taboo retreated to her couch to meditate on her priorities: the tome of the woman; the plan for the children; the toil of the garden.

9. Process and Quarrel continued the waltz towards their nuptials.

10. Quarrel savored the calm of her mediated detente with Backhand.

11. While Headway, Process, and Taboo all waited the remarks on their treatise, Process drafted a summary for Chimera, and shared it with Taboo for further distribution.

12. Rarity demurred when the Scrivener assigned her to another review of Endeavor’s polemic, but the Scrivener held fast, noting the adaptation to Utopia’s template.

13. Watching the academic walk down the aisle arm in arm with both his antecedents, Process realized his desire for a final breakfast with his own nuclear unit of Zenith, Ballast, and Work.

14. Quarrel asked Process about heading to the hills with Figment, Concept, Bust-up, and Wriggle, but made her own decision to stay the course.

15. Feast invited Process and Quarrel to join her and Castle to laugh at the grail; Process attempted to inveigle Feast into attending the weekend conference.

16. Vagary put her foot down, while Utopia filed unilateral paperwork.

17. Process waited nervously to see the result of both decisions.

18. Process met new people and made new obligations, while moving slowly on the contacts, commitments, and utility invoices he’d already acquired.

19. Quarrel spoke candidly with her matriarch about prayers and poems.

20. Process bought tickets to take Work to see a play.

21. Chimera asked Process for input on her inspiration for an aquatic salon.

22. The Scrivener told Process the course would count for more than nothing.

23. Laid low by subterranean rumblings, Process missed his court date with Ballast, and spent the time drafting this inventory instead.


Opening Doors at Mills College

23 08 2011

1. I want to dive into some man’s thoughtful blog about his experiences as a man, navigating the world of a women’s college, but I haven’t found one yet.

2. It happened again today: I got to a door first, reached to open it out, the woman arriving on the other side took it the rest of the way, & I stalled between the choice of switching feet & holding it for her while she passed through the narrow space left for me, or moving to one side & letting her pass through entirely, or passing through myself & saying thank you.

3. I chose the latter, & felt awkward, which is inevitable & strange.

4. As Sr!n! wrote on a bumper sticker sometime, “America is a slow motion race riot.”

5. An odd moment in the grad lounge, 3 men sitting around the table & me at a computer.  Did the atmosphere change in that moment or did I just feel different? Read the rest of this entry »

Counting to sum

3 03 2011

1. Begin
2. Don’t finish
3. Start over
4. Get distracted
5. Forget to remember
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An Baker’s Dozen of Epiphanies, Two Months Before the Bad Thing.

2 03 2011

1. I am the poop whisperer.
2. Loathsome people validate your loathing.
3. The service will cost exactly as much as it earns.
4. It’s not impolite for the host to quadruple up when the drinks are free.
5. 1am is too late to bake bread.
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The intensity of density

16 08 2010

A fully packed 24 hours, in no particular order:

1. Painting the kissing couple in magnetic poetry words on Anne and Jeremy’s fridge while Audiafauna rocked the house down below, backed up by Anne’s once-upon-a-time fella, Andrew.


2. Blitzing through A&A’s birthday and goodbye party before that, and seeing the half dozen photos of my not-quite-19 year-old self, not-quite-as-crazy-as-I’d-become-by-my-birthday, but sticking my tongue out just the same, in every one.

3. K’s tale of strange and horrifying tale of mysterious dog vomit and other misadventures

4. Spats about belts, deliveries, entrances, staircases, and, well, what spats are about.

5. Hoisting Michael up on my shoulders, in blue jeans and a bathrobe, for another of the traditional photos he seems to have decided to enjoy. Read the rest of this entry »